When a woman becomes pregnant, one of the questions uppermost in the minds of the couple is whether they will be able to enjoy any sexual intercourse in the following months. Some couples dread pregnancies as it could put a dampener on their sexual life. But the good news is that pregnancy may not necessarily intervene in your sexual life at all. There are several misconceptions about having sexual intercourse during pregnancy and that is why couples develop wrong notions. However, most of these notions are quite unjustified.

The first thing one must understand is how pregnancy affects the body of the woman. Pregnancy occurs when the male sperm fertilizes the egg cell of the female. This fertilized egg is called as the embryo, which gets implanted in the uterus. Pregnancy brings about a host of changes in the woman, the first of them being the pause in the menstrual cycles. The embryo develops into the fetus. In order to protect the fetus, the amniotic cavity develops around it. The amniotic cavity is a fluid filled cavity meant for supplying the fetus with all the nutrients it requires for its development. At the same time, in order to prevent further fertilizations, the uterus opening, i.e. the cervix, is blocked off by a layer of mucus.

Now we know the changes that take place in the uterus when pregnancy occurs. Nature provides the growing fetus with all the protections necessary. The mucus layer cuts off the growing embryo from the rest of the outside world.

Contrary to popular belief, there is no harm in having sex when a woman is pregnant, and this could continue till late in the pregnancy. First and foremost, there is no way the penis or the seminal and vaginal fluids can come in contact with the embryo and cause any infections. This is because of the mucus layer that blocks off the cervix. Also for this very same reason, there can be no dislodging of the embryo inside the uterus in any manner.

However, care must be taken with the sexual positions that are adopted. The missionary position must be avoided, since in this position there is a tendency to lay more pressure on the uterus. The missionary position is the one in which the male lies on top and both partners are belly-to-belly in contact. Also the woman-on-top position must be avoided. Any other position in which pressure is not exerted on the woman’s uterus is acceptable.

It is necessary to speak to the doctor about sexual intercourse when the woman is pregnant. This is because though there are no technical problems with sexual intercourse during pregnancy, there can be some biological problems linked with the past of the woman. Like if the woman has had a premature birth in the past, then the doctor would advise the couple to refrain from penetrative sexual intercourse in the last three months of pregnancy. Women with miscarriages previously must not indulge in penetrative sexual intercourse during the first three months. And women who have a short cervix (this can be ascertained with a sonography test) must abstain from sexual intercourse throughout the pregnancy.

Yet sexual intercourse during pregnancy takes on a new meaning as the couple soon realizes. Since the woman’s body undergoes numerous changes – including the increase in the size of the breasts and the hips – the male partner may become more aroused. Hormonal changes may also induce the woman to become more libidinous during pregnancy. At the same time, on an emotional level, the partners develop greater love for each other in anticipation of their shared joy.

But the contrary of this case can also be seen. During pregnancy, some women might become too preoccupied with their thoughts to become interested in sexual intercourse. They may be intrigued by the changes in their bodies, and even scared of them to an extent. If such a situation arises, then it becomes the man’s responsibility to put the woman at ease.

Some couples could find sex during pregnancy too difficult to manage, due to the increase in the size of the couple. This could make the vagina difficult to access considering some sexual positions. The man may be reluctant to lie on top because of fear of harming the fetus, and the woman may not lie on top for fear of putting more weight on the man. Both of these situations could lead to difficulty in managing sexual intercourse.

Finally, it must be remembered that there are alternatives to sexual intercourse if things become too difficult. Mutual masturbation is one of the options. The couple can stimulate each other’s genitals by hands and lead them to orgasms. This could help relieve the sexual frustration. Oral sex can be performed without any problems. Though not advisable due to hygienic reasons, anal sex is also an option. But the most important thing is, the couple should develop stronger emotional bonds of love for each other. During pregnancy, it is best to make love with the mind than with the genitals.

There was a day when being a single parent earned public scorn. The assumption was that you must be immoral to have ended this way. But times have changed. The past decades have seen a dramatic increase in the number of single-parent households, and there’s no stigma attached to the status today.

Single parents who are facing financial hardships can find help today. Society is recognizing that “it takes a village to raise a child,” and governments are providing more financial assistance for families in financial distress.

And the help is not limited to white Americans. Black single parents face the same challenges and hardships as any other single parents, and government assistance programs are color-blind.

For example, black single parents in Arkansas can apply for a special scholarship program that helps them attend college. The attend school for free and receive a stipend every month to help meet expenses. The State of Arkansas believes that children will grow up to be better citizens if their parent is better educated. And Arkansas does not require both parents to be present to recognize a family. Single-parent families are as important in Arkansas as any family unit.

Black single parents who are unemployed can also get help from state and local governments to find a job. Employment offices will try to find work near the home for single parents who must also manage their household. In fact, they may offer financial assistance while the black single parent is job hunting.

To find sources of assistance in your state or community, check the blue section of your yellow pages. Look for family assistance, unemployment, and children’s welfare agencies and departments, and start calling. It may take some time to find that one person who really cares, but you will find help if you are patient and persistent.

Some local governments will advise both white and black single mothers to work from the home to give them more time to care for their children. The Internet offers opportunities to earn supplemental income from home. It’s not just a dating service! If you have the determination to learn and the patience to persist, you can earn a living from the Internet.

Online shopping services rake in millions, if not billions, of dollars every day. Selling their products through your own website can earn you commissions. There are also many opportunities to find work as a virtual secretary, writer, host for a forum, or a survey poller. And with a little help, you can sell your own products and services over the web. Having your name and number show up when someone queries for a local service is a great way to find additional work.

Trying to earn a living to support your family while also caring for your children is a stressful full-time job. As a single black parent, you may need to find some support to help you cope with daily stresses and the transition from one way of life to another.

Group therapy sessions are a great way to find a listening ear and emotional support when you are going through these struggles. The other group members are in the same situation, so they understand you and your problems. They can offer advice based on lessons they’ve learned while dealing with the same issues. Your local government may even sponsor such a group. Check out local services to see if that free service is available to you.

Support and therapy groups can help solve problems before they even come up. Group members know what you’re going through because they’ve been there. They may be able to help you build strong healthy relationships with your children. They may have solutions to household repair problems that you didn’t think of. If you don’t have a network of close friends to play that role, you may find a single parent group the perfect support system.

Black single parents need to take advantage of all the opportunities and services their state and local governments offer. It’s time to let go of that stubborn pride and admit you can’t do it all alone. Your children need a happy healthy parent, and you need to be there for them. If you don’t take advantage of the programs out there, you’ve cheated yourself and your family.

Daniel and Megan felt drawn to the little dark-haired child they had seen in the orphanage half way around the world, but they felt they had more questions than answers. “Where do we start?” Megan asked as we spoke on the phone. The adoption agency needed a response and they felt frozen in their fear. After receiving guidance and answers from other adoptive parents who had the same questions as Daniel and Megan, they soon brought home their little daughter. Megan shared later how the advice to seek a pediatrician early in the process helped them learn what to expect in their adoption and to have a realistic view of the challenges they might face. Now, six years later, they have adopted two more children, another girl and a boy from the same country.

When considering adoption, parents should always consult a pediatrician. Pediatricians with knowledge of the special needs of older children or international adoptions can be a wealth of information regarding issues that may arise with your adoptive child. They can provide vital information before the adoption, help with the decision making while in the process of adoption,
and assist with on-going issues after the adoption.

Discussing your plans to adopt with a pediatrician will give you much needed information about psychological and medical needs that your adoptive child may have. Your pediatrician can explain some medical problems common to newly adopted children. They may discuss issues of attachment, loss, and grief that adoptive children often go through. Your pediatrician may also discuss physical and medical issues that your adoptive child may be facing.

Meeting with your pediatrician before you start the adoption process will bring medical and mental health issues to light that you possibly were not aware of before. Such a meeting helped Megan and Daniel decide to adopt two more children. They gained knowledge and confidence, and their fear was minimized.

After starting the adoption process, a pediatrician can be an invaluable asset to you. If you are able, bring the medical and mental health records of the child to your pediatrician; they can explain specific issues to you. Often you will have a list of all the diagnoses that have been assigned to your child.

A pediatrician can explain them in terminology that you can understand and discuss possible long-term problems of particular disorders. For example, if a child has a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder, your pediatrician can explain behaviors that are typical and problems other parents have had in dealing with their children. Your pediatrician will also model some language choices that you may not have thought of previously. For example, most pediatricians will refer to all the siblings in a family as brother or sister not ‘adopted brother’ or ‘adopted sister.’

Pediatricians are careful not to say ‘natural parent’ when speaking of the child’s birth parent. The term ‘natural parent’ implies that you are then the ‘unnatural parent.’ You must be comfortable talking openly with your pediatrician about all medical issues relating to the adoption of a new member into your family. If you do not already have a family pediatrician, ask other adoptive parents for recommendations and then interview several different pediatricians to find one that seems to best fit you and your family.

Some questions may be difficult for you to ask but will probably reveal the most important information to you. For instance, you may hear that a child you wanted to adopt is going to have a lot of medical issues that you don’t think you can handle. By discussing those issues openly, you will be able to prepare yourself fully for the adoption of your child. Or, after discussing the possible medical issues, you may decide not right for you. Do not be afraid to ask a lot of questions.

Your pediatrician’s job is to help you be the best parent you can be. Of course, your pediatrician will be of extreme help to you throughout your child’s life.