411Mommy » Adoption

Does anyone have experience with an adoption “within” the family ?

admin — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:19:48 +0000

Question by sonnyfoxx2: Does anyone have experience with an adoption “within” the family ?
I have recently been informed that my 15 year old neice is pregnant. My wife and I are considering adopting the baby once it’s born, since my neice has mentioned putting the child up for adoption. Does anyone out there have any first or second hand experience with “interfamily” adoption? Are there any pros and cons I should think about?

Best answer:

Answer by cathygirl32
My best friend adopted her cousin’s baby (interracial relationship). Since my friend is white and the child is black (she’s 10 now), she does know about being adopted. She is the sweetest, nicest little “lady.” She DOES NOT know who her real mother is. The family get togethers are few and far between as the family’s live in different states, but they do go smoothly when they happen as it was the cousin’s decision for the adoption.

Give your answer to this question below!

Q&A: How concrete is an “open adoption” contract??

admin — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:27:54 +0000

Question by miss_nikki: How concrete is an “open adoption” contract??
I am not pregnant, if anything I would be on the adopting side of this question, but something else I read on here had me wondering how solid an open adoption contract is. Let’s say the adoptive/biological parents had an agreement that there could be one visit a month, well, does that mean that the adoptive parents can never move (since that would stop the visits)?? Or what if for no reason the adoptive parents decided they didn’t want the child seeing the bilogical parent anymore?? Is there anyway the bioligical parent could fight this??

Best answer:

Answer by PhilM
Unfortunately, no. Open adoption arrangements are not legally enforceable at this time. Adoptive parents who want to go back on their word are free to do so. It is, in my opinion, a despicable act, but one that is not currently illegal. Hopefully that will change.

Add your own answer in the comments!

How come some people have said they’ve “lost the baby to adoption”?

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 21:27:25 +0000

Question by Zoe: How come some people have said they’ve “lost the baby to adoption”?
Please don’t take offense by my question. I just don’t understand. Don’t you give up the adoption because you think it’s best for the baby? Nobody coerces you to, do they?

I just read a few answers with that line in a question and was confused. I’m 16 and don’t much about adoption but I’ve always wanted to adopt and so I want to know why ppl would write that….

Or is it just cause they’re sad about giving up the baby?

Best answer:

Answer by Molly J
sometimes the birth parent that put the baby up for adoption decides that they want the baby after the adoption parents already have it so the go to court and most of the time the birth parent wins the case so the adoption parents who already had the baby have to give it up.That’s why some people only adopt outside the US because you cant take the baby back in other countries…this happened to my parents the first time they adopted and then they went to Europe for me and even if my birth mother wanted me back she legally couldn’t unless that what we all wanted.(birth mother, my parents, and me)

What do you think? Answer below!

Does “underground adoption” mean that a child is in danger?

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 03:19:56 +0000

Question by cococremejuju: Does “underground adoption” mean that a child is in danger?
Do only bad people with evil intentions work for an underground adoption agency? Does that mean that the adoptive parents will be evil too? Or can the outcomes be good for a child that was sold to an “underground adoption agency.” Just concerned as to why they call it “underground.”
Yes, Gypsy, if you hadn’t notice a lot of my questions are referring to the “Baby Gabriel case” including this question.

Best answer:

Answer by love my life
It is called underground because it is done outside the legal boundaries or government guidelines, under the radar so to speak. And no it does not mean the the adoptive parents will be evil, and yes the outcome for the child can be good. Just as some are bad for those who go through the proper channels.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Where do these “anti-adoption” people expect the children to go if they are not adopted?

admin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:21:35 +0000

Question by Tobit: Where do these “anti-adoption” people expect the children to go if they are not adopted?
This was posted as an answer to another question, “Where do these “anti-adoption” people expect the children to go if they are not adopted? Have a heart, give a kid a chance.”

In a world with adoption reform, where would children go?

Best answer:

Answer by fly
probably some kind of group home like what they have for the children now. there are so many children it the system now because not too many ppl want to adopt older children, they want baby’s.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Is there any way to find biological parents from a “sealed adoption”?

admin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 06:24:54 +0000

Question by Yea_Its_Me: Is there any way to find biological parents from a “sealed adoption”?
My husband was adopted in Kentucky around 1975. He says that the adoption was “sealed” and therefor he cannot obtain the name of his parents. Does anyone know whether or not any laws have changed which would allow him to do so?

Best answer:

Answer by Sheri G
There are several adoption reunion organizations and registries. For starters, try:

http://reunion.adoption.com/

http://www.adoptionregistry.net/

http://www.kyadoptions.com/

Add your own answer in the comments!

Could someone please rationalize what agencies call “confidential adoption” so it makes sense?

admin — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 21:24:20 +0000

Question by julie j: Could someone please rationalize what agencies call “confidential adoption” so it makes sense?
By definition, a closed adoption or “confidential adoption,” must first require taking away the rights of a child to know his/her identity in order to assure another person (a parent) that the child will not find out who they are until at least adulthood, if ever. I’m not talking about revealing parents’ identities to the general public; I’m only talking about their son or daughter retaining their rights to their own heritage.

My question is How can this practice be ethically justified? Thank you for your thoughts.
Good answers so far.
As suspected, there is no real justification for “confidential adoption”. It’s disappointing that there are people who believe that adoptees should accept closed adoption on the grounds that they could have been aborted instead, thus leaving them deserving of fewer rights than those not adopted.
Permanently closed adoption simply is not fair to the adoptees.
Keep speaking our truths until we are understood.

Best answer:

Answer by bailezra
I imagine that it is justified because there are scared young girls and women out there who love their babies, but want to do what’s best for them by putting them up for adoption to couples who would be able to better provide for them, but the idea of a child of theirs being out there in the world that they don’t raise is very painful to them, so they prefer a closed adoption.

I would guess that many of them feel that if they are going to let their babies go, they need to let them go completely in order to move on with their lives.

It was probably more common years ago than it is today, and you have to wonder how many girls might have chosen abortion if closed adoption hadn’t been an option for them back then (when having a baby out of wedlock was more scandalous than it is today).

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong–I’m just saying I can see both sides of it, from the viewpoint of a frustrated adoptee who meets with a dead end when searching for their birth mother, and from the viewpoint of a scared teenaged birth mother.

Give your answer to this question below!

What truly is “Anti-adoption” and would you consider yourself?

admin — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 09:22:24 +0000

Question by …: What truly is “Anti-adoption” and would you consider yourself?
to be “Anti-adoption”.

Please leave your opinions of other people out of this, what do YOU consider yourself to be even if not “Anti-adoption”?
may I ask, under what circumstance do you feel adoptions are okay?

Best answer:

Answer by DevonChaos
I try not to put a label to my beliefs because then people will assume I believe in certain ideas based on that label.

Add your own answer in the comments!

How do people feel about adoption “V ” abortion?

admin — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:24:35 +0000

Question by Busy Lady 2010: How do people feel about adoption “V ” abortion?
With approx. 75,000 babies being aborted a year in Texas, I can see why mothers need to consider adoption. Surely there’s not that many women being raped? Women should be more responsible. I hope the “paid adoption” bill gets passed, this is a good consideration.

Best answer:

Answer by Christie
I agree! Adoption is always the better route than an abortion. Ultimately, it is up to the expecting parents…but they need to keep in mind that there are thousands of people out there that aren’t able to have kids, that would do anything to have the opportunity to raise a child.

Add your own answer in the comments!

What legal rights do biological parents have in an “open adoption”?

admin — Sun, 30 May 2010 18:22:07 +0000

Question by Bluebeard’s Wife: What legal rights do biological parents have in an “open adoption”?
As far as I can tell, bio parents have little to no parental rights once they give away their child for adoption.

“An open adoption, where birth parents maintain some kind of contact with a child after the adoption, requires the cooperation of everyone involved. But if the adoptive parents decide to stop contact between the child and the birth parents after the adoption, they can, and there’s nothing the birth parents can do.

An adoption terminates all of a birth parent’s legal rights concerning their child. All of their duties and responsibilities—including the duty to pay child support—are permanently and irrevocably ended.”

http://www.illinoislegalaid.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_content&contentID=3809

Best answer:

Answer by sizesmith
First parents have a right to ask the prospective adoptive parents to take a lie detector test, at their expense, to ask if they plan on honoring open adoption, and related questions. If the PAP’s don’t answer favorably, then they aren’t the right ones.

First parents also have the right to meet the PAP’s, see their home, see their home study, interview them, their family, and their friends to see how they think they’d honor open adoption. Some agencies tell first parents that they don’t have these rights, and if they say that, the first parents need to run away from them, and seek someone else, if they plan to follow through with an adoption. As hard as it is for everyone involved in the adoption, there needs to be more plans made before the baby is placed, rather than trying to fight for rights afterwards. The openess of an adoption is not legally enforceable, and in some cases, is referring to the paperwork itself. First parents have many rights, and they need the support and help from friends and family to follow through with their plans, and to also have the confidence to say NO if it comes to where they decide they want to parent, but feel guilty to break the hearts of PAP’s. Everything involved should be what’s best for the baby-not for the adoptive parents, the first parents, nor anyone else-especially agencies.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!