Having a hard time recognizing your teenager? Wondering where that sweet child has gone?

The passage into adolescence can be just as difficult on parents as it is for their children. Teens can be moody, self-absorbed and downright testy. It’s difficult for parents not to feel confused and rejected being on the receiving end of these new personalities.

Thankfully, the science of neuropsychiatry is shedding new light on the machinations of the adolescent mind. In tracking brain activity, they found that adolescent neurotransmitter activity measures twice that of adults. While accelerating their learning capacity, this creative surge is accompanied by a sharp rise in emotional reactivity and perceptual acuity. Teens watch you like a hawk, picking up on your every word and gesture. They cringe, accusing you of being insensitive and clueless. Add to the mix the dramatic change in hormonal levels and “bam”! ” What happened to my loving, cooperative little boy/girl?”

Other research pinpoints increased activity in the area of the brain responsible for evaluating experience and perception of others. Paradoxically, scientists noted a drop in puberty-aged kids’ ability to read the emotions of others. As a result, they display a lessened capacity for empathy. This is not news to a lot of parents who watch their teens becoming more and more self-absorbed and self-centered.

Parents of the children I’ve worked with are often desperate for guidance in handling their depressed or acting-out children. They feel hurt and helpless. Having access to these new insights into adolescent behavior and thought patterns can be profoundly helpful and reassuring to parents and their teenagers. Achieving a new perspective about their children is critical for parents to set appropriate limits and to allow for calm, open communication. With the help of a professional therapist, parents learn to change the way they experience and understand their child’s behavior. In an environment of trust and acceptance, a more healthful separation-individuation process can take place. With that support and guidance, the adolescent is relieved of the burden of the parents’ upset and anxiety so that she/he may get on with the tasks at hand: Who am I? What do I want ? What are my talents and my potential?

Author: Candace Harris
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Netbook, Tablets and Mobile Computing

At times, even when using the best parenting tactics, teens may need outside help in order to get over their problems. It’s important to know that there are many useful resources in your community that can be called upon when your teen’s depression or anger issues become out of control and more than what you can deal with.

One great place to start in your search for outside help for your teen is at his school. Contact the school guidance counselor, they are very knowledgeable about problems that teens face today and they have connections to many outside resources. The school counselor may also be able to speak with your teen and be a liaison between your teen and his teachers at school.

There are many youth centers and community centers that offer programs for trouble teens. Within these programs, they provide many different coping skills and assistance to teens that will help them manage their troubles. These programs also provide mentors that can be very helpful to your teen when they are having problems communicating with the family. The key is to locate these programs before your teens behaviors become totally out of control.

If you are involved in church or another place of worship, you may want to contact them to see if there is a youth program at the facility. These programs may be helpful to your teen and assist your teen with their individual problems. Many pastors and other clergy have been trained in counseling troubled children.

Your family doctor is another wonderful resource that you can use to enlist help for your teen. They can assess your teen to see if there is a medical problem that may need to be treated with medication. In most cases this is covered by insurance. The doctor may also know of other programs and groups that might be helpful to your teen, your family, or even you, in dealing with the problems of depression and anger.

Finding a residential treatment center is usually the last resort for most parents that are dealing with a teen that needs help. They are equipped with psychiatrists, doctors and staff that are fully trained to handle the problems that teenagers have. It’s important to know that when teens are placed in a facility like this, they receive very close monitoring, and will also receive medication, if it is needed. Residential facilities provide group and/or individual counseling for your teenager that will prove to be very helpful. They will undergo training in different types coping mechanisms which can help to keep their emotional problems from recurring.

If you have a teenager that you feel needs to receive outside help, it is important to act swiftly before the problem has a chance to escalate. As you can see, there are a number of options available to troubled teens; the key is to find one that works for your teen and your family. Not every approach will work with every teen; you know your child best, so trust your instincts and, above all, be patient, even when they are less than pleasant with you.

Author: Aurelia Williams
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Cellphone news

Teen romance and the possibility of sex…It is one of the trickiest and difficult topics that we, as parents, talk to our kids about. Making sure your teenager has good information and a healthy attitude about opposite sex relationships is a challenging parental responsibility. We know that our teenagers are going to parties, hanging out together, sometimes drinking and some are having sex.

According to a 2005 Statistics Canada report:

About 12% of teens have had sexual intercourse by age 15 and by the time they reach the age of 17, 28% teens have. By age 24, 80% of young adults have had sexual intercourse.
Of the sexually active youth between age 15 and 24, over one third of them had more than one partner in a year and 30% did not use a condom the last time they had intercourse.
Teen pregnancy has been steadily decreasing over the past 25 years. However the number of teens who have contracted sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as Chlamydia remains on the rise. This points to reduced use of condoms or the prevalence of oral sex which many teens mistakenly believe eliminates the transmission of STDs.

So, as parents, what sort of influence do we have? According to a 2005 University of Regina in Saskatchewan study, teachers emerged as the most important source for information about pregnancy and STD prevention. The study also found that peer influence was more important than parental disapproval in predicting whether a student would have intercourse. The findings suggest that, teachers and peers are more important in providing good information and instilling attitudes to our teenagers than parents. Parental disapproval has little impact. In fact parental disapproval often has the opposite effect one is trying to accomplish.

Romance and the Teenage Brain

The conflict between young love and parental disapproval is not a new one. In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliette, his “star crossed lovers” showed what havoc teen romance can have on families. Today, perhaps it is understandable and acceptable for school to be a more important source of information than parents on certain information about sex. However, most of us hope our values are important to our children and help guide their sexual behaviour choices.

When your son or daughter has fallen in love the personality change may seem extreme. It like they have been invaded by an alien body snatcher. The power of teen love and sex is very strong. Many parents feel responsible for their teenager’s risky behavior and become overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. Parents and especially mothers often feel the judgment of other parents whose teen’s behaviour is less extreme This can lead to additional feelings of isolation and ineffectiveness. Some parents and especially fathers may get authoritative out of frustration and eventually give up or “wash their hands” of the problem out of feelings of ineptitude.

To be more influential it helps to equipped with the knowledge of what forces are at work when a teenager falls in love. It is important to understand how the teen brain works. Recent brain scientific research sheds much more light on how much hormonal activity is influencing our teenager’s thoughts and actions.

Brain structures and brain chemicals both affect the way an adolescent first dives into romance. In his book Why Do They Act That Way?: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen, David Walsh describes it this way. At around age ten, the body produces androgen hormones. This is when the first crush can occur. It is at puberty when the real awakening of sexual interest and sex drive occurs. This is when “falling in love” can happen. The hypothalamus drives surges of testosterone in both boys and girls and raises the levels of dopamine – the hormone that is responsible for feelings of pleasure. Because of developmental differences, boys and girls have different attitudes toward sex and romance. The testosterone surges in boys lead them to see girls as sexual objects. Adolescent girls tend to be more drawn to boys for the relational aspects of spending time together and talking.

Although sexual interest is always part of falling in love, falling in love is not always part of sex drive. The prefrontal cortex (the place of reason and judgment in the brain) is inactive and in teenagers not yet fully developed. When falling in love, we aren’t using our rational brain and impulse control. A “pleasure” high comes from the hormonal interplay of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. It is a powerful mix of natural neurological “chemistry”. All this high level of hormonal fireworks cannot be sustained for a long time by the brain. The intense feelings of “falling in love” are even shorter for teenagers than adults. Infatuation lasts only about three months on average. Following this they will move on to another relationship for the intoxication and excitement or will stay as the relationship transitions into a calmer more comfortable stable state, which has been called “standing in love”.

During the “standing in love” phase cooling down occurs and the prefrontal cortex engages. The teen is in a better position to assess the suitability of the relationship. The adolescent may wonder, “Why am I in this relationship?” A different set of hormones are released now. For girls it is oxytocin sometimes referred to as the “cuddling” hormone, also involved at childbirth, which promotes attachment. In boys, the hormone vasopressin makes them more protective, faithful and attentive to their partner’s needs.

Romantic Pitfalls

Often parents worry about their child falling in love with a “bad apple”. Concern about a teenager’s judgment is warranted. The prefrontal cortex is not completing formed in the brain until age 21. In this stupor of love, the bad influence of the boyfriend or girlfriend leads the “good” child to do things quite out of character. For example they may engage in some risky behavior out of loyalty and love such as destroy property for the “rush” of it.

Sometimes the darker side of love of jealousy and possessiveness takes hold. It is confusing for many teenagers. After the glorious “falling in love” feelings and then attachment hormones can cloud the judgement. He can become controlling, or physically or sexually abusive. When the “why am I in this relationship? question comes to mind, her memories of the “falling in love” times and the current cuddling hormone and lack of experience make it more difficult to see the wisdom of getting out.

Tips for Talking to Teens about Sex

Countries with low rates of teen pregnancy and STDs deal with sex more openly. If trusted adults, teachers and parents don’t talk openly, the adolescents will get their information from peers or the media. It is important to distinguish sex from sexuality. Sex is about biology whereas sexuality is about biology, psychology, values and spirituality. It is important for you to see your role as supplementing the logic, wisdom and judgement that the teen’s under developed prefrontal cortex requires. Actively listening, validating feelings and show respect will help open up discussions and reduce power struggles.

David Walsh in his book Why Do They Act That Way?, suggests the following tips and do’s and don’ts.
1. Get motivated. If you do not talk to them someone else will.
2. Get educated. Being informed overcomes nervousness and builds confidence
3. Get comfortable. It is ok to admit some discomfort. It will help everyone relax.
4. Make it an ongoing conversation.
5. Don’t try to cover too much in one discussion.
6. Choose appropriate times when there is an opportunity for calm, private uninterrupted conversation
7. Discuss sexuality, not just sex. They need to know about the place of sex in a healthy relationship.
8. Discuss dating as a time to have fun and get to know each other.
9. Don’t preach or lecture.
10. Make it a dialogue
11. Share your values

Do

Emphasize the importance of respect and honesty in all relationships
Have regular conversations with your sons and daughters about sex and sexuality
Communicate the values you consider important in romantic relationships
Provide accurate information about birth control and STDs
Get to know your adolescent’s friends so you know who they are influenced by
Really listen to your teen: their fears, and worries and validate their feelings showing acceptance and love
Talk to other parents, join a parents group, see a counselor for ideas and support

Don’t

Don’t get angry or use put-downs about a boyfriend or girlfriend you have concerns about
Don’t ridicule or make fun of crushes or romantic attachments
Don’t assume that your son or daughter won’t engage in sexual behavior
Don’t keep quiet and let the “instant sex” that happens on TV and in movies become the only examples your kids

have about sex and sexuality

Author: Allan Findlay
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Canada duty

There are several ways to look at the question of whether teens should have jobs. Of course, in some family situations, having your teen work might not be much of an option. The economy is in trouble and along with it are many families. If these families have teens that can work, the teens just might have no choice. If they want any spending money at all, they will probably have to work for it.

But what about the families that are doing all right and don’t need their teens to have a job to get by? Should kids be allowed to be kids and teens be allowed to be teens and not have to worry about working to make extra spending money? Should teens be allowed to spend their personal time the way they want or should they be working and learning about the real world?

Some parents want their teens to work so that they learn responsibility and stay out of trouble after school. Getting their first job also helps teach teens the value of money and how hard it is to earn. There is no doubt that some teens should be working if they have responsibility issues and need that extra supervision. Having a job is good for many teens in a variety of ways.

Not all teens, however, need the extra money or the extra discipline. If a teen wants to participate in after school activities such as sports or drama, having a job could jeopardize that. Teens only get one chance to be teens and being on school sports teams is a once in a lifetime deal. Once high school and college are over, it will be work everyday for them. If a teen is responsible and wants to do other things, parents might think twice before requiring their children to get jobs.

There are of course some teens who actually want to work and that is fine. Everyone is different and if a teen wants to work to make extra money then they should be allowed to do it. For those teens who have no choice though, it is a shame if they spend their teen years working and not being able to enjoy their social life as a kid. There will always be plenty of time for work in the years ahead.

Author: Sara Hughes
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Benefits of electric pressure cooker